Today was the hardest session of hot yoga that I have attended so far. The moves were the same and the class was a comfortable size, but my mind was all over the place. I have been doing pretty good at stewarding my health since being in Australia. This holiday has been the perfect reset for me. Yet this weekend I did terrible. I had at least three energy drinks, way too much sugar, and lesser amount of sleep. Yet my connection with others and consistency with a God has been spot on. I was having a really tough time with some of the poses, getting more frustrated by the minute, and feeling pain in places I where I do not usually experience it. While I was laying on my stomach with my left ear on the floor looking myself in the mirror I realized what I had been thinking. I was punishing myself for the junk I had eaten instead of being present and focusing on posing badge breathing. Then I reminded myself that the reason why I am making better decisions for my health is because I love myself. I cannot and will not hate myself into being the best me. When I could find my peace I finally was doing a little better at the poses. Yet the true success was that I stayed in the room and I did not give up. Then at the very end of class as our instructor was leaving the room she said. “This is the best sixty minute class I have ever taught. Well done. Namaste.” There in the darkened hot room in our final savasana pose I cried. I cried because I have actually been doing great, I have been making excellent decisions and one day of eating junk food will not throw me off. I cried because despite my frustration and lack of perfect posing, I was a part of the best sixty minute class that instructor had taught.
Finding well being and learning to love myself better